


How To Break an Angel

by Depraved4life



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Abusive Dean Winchester, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst with a Happy Ending, Apocalypse, Bisexual Dean Winchester, Bottom Castiel/Top Dean Winchester, Castiel and Dean Winchester Have a Profound Bond, Castiel and Dean Winchester Live Together, Castiel and Dean Winchester Need to Use Their Words, Castiel and Dean Winchester in Love, Dark Dean Winchester, Dean Winchester Being an Asshole, Demon Dean Winchester, Domestic Violence, Emotional Manipulation, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Gratuitous Smut, Human Castiel (Supernatural), Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Possessive Dean Winchester, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rough Sex, Sam and Castiel are best friends, Sex, Shameless Smut, Supernatural Elements, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-02
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:02:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29163111
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Depraved4life/pseuds/Depraved4life
Summary: Castiel rescues Dean from Hell to prepare for the Apocalypse. He has his orders and he is a good soldier. Dean feels that he's not in control of his life anymore and doesn't know how to handle it. When the two cross paths the gears click in Deans' mind. With Castiel by his side, he can remain in control. He can stay focused and ready for whatever comes next for him and his brother. He needs Castiel far more than the angel ever thought possible. He is his everything, good, bad, and downright ugly. He won't lose control of his life. He won't lose control of Castiel.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Meg Masters/Dean Winchester, Castiel/Sam Winchester, Crowley (Supernatural)/Dean Winchester, Endverse Castiel/Endverse Dean Winchester
Comments: 2
Kudos: 15





	1. Angel of the Lord

**Author's Note:**

> This storyline is Canon Divergent and A/U. It contains quite a few canon storylines except the time frame and exact details are changed. I use a lot of the dialog but that's to keep it feeling more....realistic.
> 
> Cas/ Meg & Sam are all friends at one point. Strictly Destiel except for the pizza man.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean comes face to face with the one responsible for pulling him from hell.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted you lovelies to know too that this story has been written to format audio. If your like me and like to listen to fanfic that is what I am referring to.

  
  


Dean pushed the blade of his knife into the molded wood on the table beneath him. This is taking too long. He lifted his head and looked at Bobby. The guy was an old drunk, but he was his old drunk, his surrogate dad. He could wait a few more minutes. Maybe.......Or maybe not. He cleared his throat then looked at Bobby. "You sure you did the ritual right?" Bobby gives him the igit look and he knows he overstepped his bounds. "Sorry, it's just taking too.."

Suddenly the wind is howling, the wall of the barn is shaking then one after the other the lights begin to burst. The barn door swung open and slowly and with precision a dark-haired man in a tan trenchcoat walked towards them, the lights continuing to burst around him. Without hesitation, he and Bobby reached for their guns and began to open fire. 

Nothing. The rock salt, the bullets, the damn devil's trap. Nothing was stopping this man.

**

Castiel looked over his charge with amusement. He was a celestial being, did this tiny man think he could hurt him?

"Who are you?" Dean asked while reaching for Ruby’s knife.

He locks eyes with his charge and tells him. "I am the one who gripped you tight and raised you from perdition." The human gives him a false thank you and seconds later his vessel is being stabbed in the heart. Luckily he's an angel, and the devout man he shared a body with would remain safe under his keeping.

Dean stares at the stranger, fear and curiosity wrapping around him. "What are you?"

Castiel smiles and pulls the knife from his vessel letting it drop with a loud clank on the floor. The older man behind him grabs a crowbar to strike him. He was here for his charge. He was here for Dean Winchester, so he turned around, and with the gentle touch of two fingers, the older man was knocked into a deep sleep. Now back to business. Dean was still staring at him, his eyes wide and green like emeralds. "I'm an angel of the lord," he says sternly and with pride. "We need to talk Dean. Alone."

Dean rushes over to bobby then sinks to the ground beside him. Not Bobby. 

He already lost one dad, he couldn't lose Bobby too.

"Your friend will be ok. He’s only sleeping."

"Who are you?" Dean locks eyes with the strange man. "What do you want from me?"

Castiel smiles as he flips through the papers of lore and the journal spread on the table. "I told you. I'm an angel of the lord."

Dean scoffed and cautiously rose from the ground, "get the hell outta here, there's no such thing."

Castiel licks his lips then walks up to his charge backing him against the wall, 

"This is your problem Dean. You have no faith." With that, he releases his wings and watches as the young man's face lights up with realization.

"Some angel you are." Dean glared at Castiel, "You burned out that poor woman's eyes."

"I warned her not to spy on my true form. It can be.... overwhelming to humans. My true voice as you know can be the same."

Dean raised a brow, "Wait...so that was you? Back at the gas station and the motel? That was you talking? Next time buddy lower the volume."

"Yes," Castiel nodded. "Certain people, special people can observe my true visage, I thought perhaps you would be one of them but I was wrong. I had to find a vessel."

Dean stepped forward causing the angel to step back, "So what? You're just possessing some poor bastard?"

Castiel smiles again, this human, his charge was already questioning him after mere minutes of meeting him. This is why he envied humanity, why he swore to protect them. They never ceased to amaze him. "He's a devout man. He actually prayed for this."

Dean walked back over to the table running his fingers along its edge. "Look pal I'm not buying what you're selling. Who are you really? And don't say.."

"I'm an angel of the lord."

"See, that's what I don't get. " Dean scoffed. "Why would an angel rescue me from hell?"

Castiel stared at the man trying to understand his doubt then walked up until they were once again, face to face. "Good things do happen, Dean."

"Not in my experience."

Castiel tilted his head in curiosity trying to read the struggle in the eyes of his charge. It was more than doubt, it was hate, self-hate..but why? "What's the matter?" He reached out and touched Dean's shoulder, "You don't think you deserved to be saved?"

Dean shrugged the angel's touch away, "But why?"

"Because God commanded it."

Dean ran his hand through his hair then looked the angel once over. "God?" He clicked his tongue and shook his head. "What makes me so special? Why not save some other poor son of a bitch. I'm not important."

Castiel couldn't understand this human. He was chosen, he was saved by Heaven itself, and yet anger and self-loathing radiated from him like a dark storm cloud. Something tugged at his heart. No, not his heart, he's an angel. It must have been his vessel, an aftertaste of human emotion. Regardless of the case, whatever it was made him want to comfort the man before him, yet he didn't know-how.

“You are important Dean, & we have work for you.”

(whooshing)

Dean looked around the barn for the angel but he was gone. Bobby was starting to come to. 

The old man stood from the ground. “What the hell was that?” Knocked me clean out.”

Dean exchanged looks with Bobby, “That was apparently an angel of the lord.”

“A what?”

“Yeah, that’s what I said.” Dean stared at the wall perplexed over what the angel had said.  _ Chosen? _ What the hell did that mean? He was just a high school dropout, what could god possibly have destined for him?

**

It had been several days since Castiel's first encounter with the human Dean Winchester. He learned two very important things during that time. The first was the fact that Dean made him curious. Here he was, a watcher of humanity, with the ability to see without question people was meant for great things. Every single one was his fathers' creation. They were made in his image so how could someone chosen by God himself feel so…. Meaningless? How was Dean not elated to be chosen? Why did he feel like this task was going to lead to even more questions? The second and most daunting revelation was on a more personal level. The very idea made him unsure of his mission. His charge had been so defiant and the man with him as well. They did not quake in awe at an angel of the lord. If anything Dean had been….quite blunt with how he felt. Those things however didn't change why he was here. It was no longer to watch and observe but to fulfill a prophecy. So he would do his due diligence and prepare his charge for the apocalypse.

**

The smell of burnt flesh, the heat, the screams of tortured souls...it was all there. Front and center in his brain. He could lie and tell Sammy that he didn’t remember hell but it was exactly that. A lie.

He woke up abruptly, drenched in a pool of sweat. The same as every night since he’d been back. He reached for his nearly empty beer to quench his thirst when he noticed that he wasn’t alone. He turned to see the angel sitting on the bed next to him. “What the hell man?” He quickly sat up feeling slightly violated. “How long have you been there? You get your rocks off watching people sleep?”

Castiel smiled. For some reason just hearing the sound of Dean's voice filled him with warmth. He was rude and surly but had such character. “Hello, Dean.” 

He explained that Dean needed to go back and try and stop his mother from making the deal with Azazel. Actually….he didn’t do much explaining until the time was right. He knew that Dean needed to learn this lesson and he had to do it alone. Those were heaven's orders.

**

Dean woke up once more this time with a heavy feeling in his gut. He couldn’t stop it. He tried. Damn it he tried but his mother still made the deal and still walked into the nursery that tragic night in November.

He looked to the angel and shook his head feeling defeated. “I failed.”

Castiel looked straight ahead, avoiding meeting Dean's eyes. For some reason, the fact he was aware it was a fool's errand made it harder coming face to face with its aftermath. “Don't be so hard on yourself. No matter what you did, things would remain the same.” He finally turned and locked eyes with his charge. “All roads lead here. Right here, Dean. You can’t change that.”

“So this was just some lesson?”

“We need you prepared, Dean. You can’t be distracted.” Castiel glanced over to the empty bed then back to Dean. “Your brother’s heading down a dangerous path, Dean.”

Dean scanned the angel's face and saw nothing but stone as he mentioned Sam. “Where is he?”

“If you don't stop him, we will.”

“Damn it,” Dean smacked the wall. “I asked you a question. Where is he?”

Castiel narrowed his gaze taken back by the man's tone, it was confrontational, and frankly, he was not accustomed to such things. “325 Waterman St.” 

(Whooshing)


	2. Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sam & Dean are tasked with finding and killing a witch. Instead of being a simple job, it turns out to be the first of many seals they have to save in order to avert the apocalypse. Dean has it with the angels and their rules and decides to take things into his own hands.

Demon blood. Psychic powers, RUBY. All these things made his blood boil but Sam was so adamant that this way was better. 

This way saved lives. 

And that was true. But at what cost?

The angels had their eyes on him and on Sam. It was his job to make sure he kept Sam on the straight and narrow but sometimes it felt like it was his duty to do everything. The alcohol, the girls, the decadence. It was all a coverup. He was scared. Scared of losing his brother and scared of failing. 

Failing seemed to be the only thing he was good at. He could kill monsters but after tonight he was shaken. Things were changing. It wasn’t just about doing the job but the big picture. He wasn’t that type of guy. He was the drink till you passed out and drowned out your feelings type of guy. 

**

Castiel stared at the young man asleep on the floor, an empty bottle of whisky laid beside him. This was the man that was chosen yet he seemed so fragile. So broken, maybe once he knew the path that lay ahead he would have more pride. Accept that this was his birthright, it could be him and only him that would defeat Lucifer.

Once again Dean felt a presence. His eyes fluttered open and as he groaned from the splitting headache racking his brain he turned to see Castiel staring at him from the kitchen. He stood up and walked over to where the angel was standing.

“Hello Dean. Excellent job on the witnesses.”

Dean raised a tired brow, “Wait, so you were hip to all that?”

“Yes,” Castiel answered plainly. “The raising of the witnesses is one of the 66 seals.”

“Seals?” Dean leaned against the kitchen table. “I assume we’re not talking about the cuddly guys at Sea World.”

“No,” Castiel leaned against the wall preparing in mind how this talk would go. The more Dean knew the better things would be. A civil conversation would be beneficial in building trust. “Think of the seals as locks on a door. The last one opens and…”

Dean raised a brow, analyzing the angel's sudden pause. “And what?”

“And Lucifer walks free.”

“Lucifer? No. No Lucifer is just a lie they made up at demon Sunday school. He’s not real.”

“It was only a few weeks ago when you discovered angels are real. I can assure you, if all the seals break, Lucifer will rise. We need to stop Lilith.”

“Well bang up job so far. A plus.” Dean huffed. “I almost had my heart ripped out of my chest.”

“But you didn’t.”

Dean scoffed and licked his lips, “Yeah no thanks to you. People are getting torn to shreds down here. Good people. Innocent people.”

“There are other seals, there..”

“No that’s not good enough. You guys are supposed to be the good guys. You're supposed to help.”

Castiel drew in a deep breath, this conversation was becoming tiresome. “Read the bible Dean. We are soldiers.”

“So then fight with us.”

“Listen,” Castiel walked towards Dean backing him against the table, “I'm not here to perch on your shoulder, Dean. There are bigger concerns, things happening all over. The armies of Heaven are not simply going to follow you around.”

“Yeah, whatever man. Whatever you gotta tell yourself.”

Still with this? He was trying to be the good guy. He was an angel, he wanted to be the good guy. He was following orders. Dean just couldn’t see that. If he couldn’t reach him being civil he would have to switch tactics. He moved inches away from Dean's ear and whispered lowley, “You should show me some respect.” He pulled back locking eyes with the man, “I pulled you from hell, I can throw you back in.” (Whooshing)

*****

“Dean...stop eating the candy.”

“What?” Dean shoved a snickers wrapper into his pocket. “It’s Halloween.”

Sam rolled his eyes, “Seriously dude. After what we just saw.”

“It’s candy Sammy. Live a little.” He popped a tootsie roll in his mouth. “What do you have against Halloween anyways?”

Sam reached for the key to the motel room and let out a small laugh. His brother tried to be big and bad but he was just as much of a nerd as he was. “Nothing. Eat your candy.” He pushed open the door and saw a figure sitting on the bed. Immediately he drew his gun. “Who are you?”

Dean ran to his brother, intercepting his weapon. He explained to Sam who Castiel was and his brother fangirled for a few minutes. It was ok until the other angel stepped in. 

Uriel. The specialist. The dick. He wanted nothing more than to smite the town and move on but they weren’t going to let that happen. Castiel was almost as certain of the town's destiny as Uriel, and that upset him even more. These angels were ready to kill thousands of innocent people. 

After a few choice words and bitchy glances they came to the conclusion that they would find the witch by nightfall or lose the town. No pressure.

***

“Wow” Sam sighed dejectedly. “So.. angels are real?” 

Dean shook his head then plopped down on the squeaky motel mattress. “Not only are they real, Sammy, they’re colossal dicks. I know you believe in the whole god thing. Don't let this change that. For all we know god hates these jerks”

Sam sighed “I just thought they’d be different. They would be righteous.”

“They are righteous,” Dean met with his brother's eyes. “I mean...Nothing is more dangerous than a man on a mission from god. Angels….I don’t know how to deal with that. Witches are one thing, demons, rugaroos, even freakin werewolves but angels.” Dean brought his hand to his face and drew in a deep breath. “What? Now I’m supposed to believe that God is really out there? That he cares about us?” He stood up and walked over to the fridge and pulled out a beer. “No. Not buyin it. If God was out there why would we even be in this mess?”

Sam sat down at the table and pulled out his beat up macbook from his duffel. “It doesn’t matter what we believe, Dean. You heard them. They want to smite the whole town. They only care about the seals.”

He tossed the bottle cap into the sink, “I can’t do this.” He walked towards the door. “I need to think, this whole thing’s making my stomach wiggy. Just look up what you can on Samhain. I’m gonna grab some snacks.”

“By that you mean beer and pie?”

“Obviously beer and pie. Don’t worry I’ll make sure to grab you a vitamin water and apple.” Dean let out a light laugh then walked out the front door.

He walked past the vending machine watching as children ran around the small courtyard playground. He stopped and sat down on a cold metal bench, he never slowed down to enjoy the small things. Not like this. It was like every tree, animal sound, he was seeing and hearing it for the first time and the thought that with a blink, it could just be gone. Devastated . If there was a god..why would he be willing to just destroy? He stared enviously as a red haired boy chased a girl around the rusty swing set. He wished life was that simple. The only thing he would have to worry about is grape or strawberry jelly. Not killing demons and bargaining with angels. 

When did this happen?

A typical Tuesday night would be salting and burning some bones now it was all about staying alive, the mission. Saving not just people but the freaking world. He felt like he was spiraling, he was losing control.

He stood up and made his way to the market across the street. He grabbed the beer and cherry pie, busty asian beauties just for kicks then headed back towards the motel. The angels could blow him. He doesn’t give into pressure, he wasn’t going to let them kill thousands of people over something that might happen. 

They are going to save this town. Him and Sam. Like they always do.

“Hello Dean.”

“Jesus.” Dean turned to see the angel Castiel standing beside him. 

“No not Jesus. He was a man. I am an angel.”

Dean stopped by the bench and sat down,“What? What do you want now? I told you we’re not leaving so if you want to nuke this place, you’ll be taking us out too.”

Castiel softened his gaze, anger wouldn’t reach this man. Not this time. He tried it, Uriel tried it. His charge was too passionate about his beliefs to be wavered. He admired that, “I understand this is regrettable.”

Dean laughed lightly shaking his head at the simplicity, “Regrettable? Really?”

“We have to hold the line Dean! Too many seals have already been broken.”

“So you screw the pooch on some seals and this town has to pay the price?”

“I don’t want any of this but Lucifer cannot be released. Lilith has already…”

“Yeah, yeah. No I get it. Sacrifice the few for the many.” Dean turned to Castiel, his brows drawn together and his face vacant of any emotion. “God's master plan. Well I say screw that, and screw you.”

“Dean.. I have no choice”

“No Castiel.” Dean stood up and raised his hands in defeat. “You have a choice. What, you never questioned a crap order? You’re just a good little soldier, Gods hammer?”

”Look. even if you can’t understand it.”

Dean licked his lips and took in a deep breath, “No I understand it perfectly. I’m going to find this witch and kill her so you and your asshole friend can take a hike!”

“Dean..”

Dean turned and stared at the wide eyed Angel. “What?” he barked. “What could you possibly have to say that isn’t gonna piss me off?”

Castiel lowered his gaze briefly then slowly looked back up, he wasn’t sure why he was at a loss for words now when moments before they came so naturally and without question. “I…..I don’t know what to do. All of this, the seals, Lilith.” He stepped closer to Dean. “I wish this weight wasn’t on your shoulders. I don’t envy the responsibility tasked before you. I wish things were different.”

Dean pushed the Angel back, “They could be and you know it. You know it!”

“Dean I told you...it’s fate.” He sighed feeling the weight of Deans stare. “ We can’t undo what has already been foretold. You saw that this was destined. We have orders.”

“I told you I get it. Save your apologies and your regret for someone who cares. I have a witch to kill and a town to save.”

“ Dean, I’m not…” Castiel lowered his gaze. The way Dean spoke to him, it was unfamiliar. He commanded armies in Heaven but right here, right now with this angry human he felt...more than doubt. Want? Need? All these emotions were so new to him he wasn’t sure which one if not all he was feeling and why. “I have questions,” he stepped back, “I have doubts but I have to believe that it will be for the greater good. I have to push that doubt aside.”

Dean scanned the angel's face and for a second he swore he could see a question in his eyes. Certainly confusion. This was not the same Angel who he met back in the barn. The one who threatened to send him back to the depths of hell. The one who only minutes ago was telling him to flee so he could smite the town. He was, but this was a softer side, it intrigued him. It was almost...human. He walked up to Castiel until they were face to face. “You know this is wrong,” he said softly before placing a hand on the angel's shoulder. “All of this. We can make our own fate.” he locked eyes with blue ones suddenly taken by the angel's beauty. “People don’t have to die, you don’t have to be…” he ran his hand down Castiel's arm until their fingers touched. “There's always another way and we will find it.” He didn’t know when his hand moved to the angels waist but it was there and now they were just a whisper away from each other. 

He’d always known he was bi. Was he open about it? Meh it depends who you ask. He wasn’t the asking type. He took what he wanted. He wanted to get drunk and he'd find a bar. He wanted to get laid he’d find a hot piece of tail to chase and when he jerked off to Dr. Sexy and his cowboy boots he wasn’t ashamed of that either, He didn’t talk about it but he wasn’t hiding anything. “You hear me Cass? You saved me. We have a connection. Trust me, please.”

_ Cass?  _ A nickname. That was a custom accompanied with familiarity, trust and other human traditions. He was frozen as a million tiny seeds of doubt and emotion flooded his brain. Dean's hand had been warm yet firm. The air was cold yet they were standing close enough that he could feel the heat radiating from Deans body. His hand on his waist, he could feel his vessel start to react and that led him to even more doubt “Y..yes I hear you.” He stepped back pushing those feelings away along with his charge. “But i have my orders. Stop the witch before the ritual.” Then he flew away.

“Run then. Coward. Angel or no Angel leave me alone! Let me do what I do and butt out.”

  
  


**

  
  


The witch was dead but the seal had broken. He didn’t know what to think, or what was going to happen. All he knew is they were not leaving this town until the angels gave their word it was safe.

He was alone in the motel brushing his teeth when the angel appeared again. 

“Dean,” Cass said softly. “We are. You and me,we are connected.”

. “I told you to leave me the hell alone. I know I failed but this town…”

“Dean.”

“No! Don’t interrupt me again or I swear!” He took in a deep breath. “I’m not going to let you kill these people.”

Castiel stood there unsure of what to say. For some reason this man could make him feel small. He was an angel of the lord, a cosmic being yet those green eyes bore into him like an angel blade piercing his skin. After what seemed like an eternity of judgment under Deans gaze he finally spoke. “You misunderstand me Dean. My orders were not to destroy the town. They were to do whatever you said to do. Call it a test to see how you perform under battlefield conditions.”

“Wow. Just when I thought you couldn’t be more of a dick you throw that at me.” Dean folded his arms and leaned against the sink. “So that’s the game huh? You listen to me, test me and yet 

“Sorry? The big boys let me decide how to save the world? Kind of counterproductive. Why not just do it yourselves instead of wasting time with me?”

“Because you are chosen Dean,” Cass snapped. “How come you keep trying to fight that?”

“You’re stupid man.” Dean walked over to the bed and sat down. “You just don’t get it. You can’t get it.” He looked up at the angel with disgust. “I make my own rules. I’m not gonna be a freaking rat in your maze. I’m not going to….”

“Dean wait..”

He smacked the bed “God damn it Cas! Stop interrupting me.” He ran his hands through his hair taking a long deep breath. “I talk, you listen. Understand?”

Castiel's eyes glanced around the room trying desperately not to meet Dean's gaze but he failed. Now once again under the weight of his stare he shook his head. “Yes Dean. I understand.”

“Good. maybe you can do something right.” Dean licked his lips, “You made me forget what I was gonna say. Freakin awesome.”

  
  
  


Dean rolled his eyes, “Whatever. Just leave.”

“That’s not what you really want.“ Cass made his way to the bed and sat down next to Dean. He turned fixing his gaze on the man and tilted his head. “I can see what you’re thinking Dean. You’re confused, you’re scared.”

“Scared? Me? I’m not freakin scared Cass, I’m pissed.”

“I understand. And it’s logical to feel overwhelmed by this burden.”

“Overwhelmed?” Dean turned to the angel. “What are you a freakin 'machine? Overwhelmed? You have no idea what I feel. You can’t and you never will. Now I told you to leave me alone so fly away Castiel and don’t come back.”

Even as Dean spoke he could feel the lies. He was scared and the angel before him seemed, he seemed like a way to feel better. Maybe even make things right. 

Castiel once more felt that tension. He didn’t like it. He scanned his mind settling on the comfort of touch. He reached out and laid a hand gently on Dean’s thigh. “I’m an angel Dean. You can’t hide from me. I know ryou’re afraid. I can feel it.”

Dean looked down at the placement of Castiel's hand wondering if the angel was aware of what he was doing. “Cass?”

“Yes Dean.”

“You’re uh, you’re hand is one my thigh.” He ran his ip through his teeth then looked over to the angel. 

“I know Dean. Touch is supposed to be a key component to healing. I want to heal you Dean. I want you to be happy. I want what's best for you, what's best for Heaven.”

“Really?” He grabbed Castiel's hand roughly and lifted it off his leg, holding it tight. “You want me to be happy? I just killed a 600 year old witch possessing a hot cheerleader. The apocalypse is being held over my head. You know what I want?” He let go of the angel's hand and leaned in close. “I want to blow off some steam. I want to feel like I’m in control of something for once. Anything.”

Castiel’s eyes widened. This was good. Dean was communicating with him. He was expressing his want, his need. He could do what was asked. If there was one thing he knew he wouldn’t fail it was following orders. “What do you need Dean? Tell me and I will do my best to make it happen. Anything to lessen the burden you feel.”

Dean stood up and walked over to the front door feeling blue eyes on him as he moved. He locked the door. A silly gesture seeing as this angel had wings but it made him feel more secure. More at ease.

He made his way back to the bed where Castiel was sitting eyes wide and awaiting his words. He sat down then turned meeting those blue eyes then without thought he leaned forward and connected their lips.

Castiel was in shock. He wasn’t aware of what was happening but he knew it was foreign and human. He was not human. He quickly pulled away, “Dean what was?”

“Just shut up and kiss me.”

Castiel's gaze dropped and he felt small once again. What should he do? His mind began to race, searching for answers. 

“Damn it Cass! Are you freakin serious right now?” He pulled back, “I don’t know why I actually thought you’d be useful. You can’t even handle a simple kiss. You’re worthless, I don’t need you so for the final time leave!”

Castiel looked at Dean, his vessel's heart thumping against his chest. He did not like this feeling, this feeling of failure. He quickly lunged forward grabbing Dean's face and locking their lips. Dean touched his face then before he knew it he was on his back Dean's lips devouring his own. This was not what he was expecting, this was not what he was sent here to do. How could this possibly be beneficial to Dean?

“Mm..Cass. Anyone ever tell you you're a good kisser?” Dean climbed off the angel and walked over to the counter to pour himself a drink. He took a sip from his glass. “Cause your freakin amazing.”

_ Amazing?  _ That was a positive word. “No.” he sat up and adjusted his jacket. “No one has told me that. Thank you Dean.”

“Don’t thank me Cass, that makes it weird.”

“Oh,” he was confused again. “I’m sorry Dean.”

Dean smiled, he liked this. He’d never had these thoughts before but hearing a soldier, a celestial being say he’s sorry to him. It made him feel in control. Castiel was what was missing. He was what made him feel complete.

“It’s ok. You did good Cass.” Blue eyes lit up and he could see the angel start to brim with confidence like the moment they first met. “You were right all along. I am scared, and I do need you.”

“You do?”

“Yeah man.”

“That's great Dean.” Castiel stood up and walked over to his charge. “I have faith in you. You can defeat the..”

He set down his glass, “Shh, less talking. I don’t want to hear about that right now.”

“I’m sorry Dean.”

He laughed and a smirk crossed his lip, “For what?”

Castiel scanned the man's face searching for the right answer but there was nothing there. “I.. I don’t know Dean.”

“Back to square one then. I guess you really are stupid. Hit the road Cass and tell your angel buddies what I said, we’re not leaving without their word.

_ Stupid? What happened to amazing?  _ “ Dean if I offended you.”

“You didn’t offend me Cass. I’m just done with this talk.” he slammed his hand down on the counter. “You understand that? Do you? I’m done. Leave now.”

“Are you angry?” he stepped in and reached out to touch Deans arm, “Why are you angry? I don’t want you angry.”

“Yeah well I don’t want an angel that's worthless watching over me.” He shoved Castiel away, But guess what, we can’t always get what we want.”

“Dean I’m not worthless!” Castiel defended. “I’m not, I can be useful.”

Dean clicked his tongue, “Fine. Then kiss me again. Show me that you actually care. Show me that I’m in charge.”

Castiel looked away then up at Dean, “Of course Dean.” He walked up and leaned in pressing their lips together. Dean wrapped his arms around him and kissed him back with hunger. He could feel Deans pulse racing then the man's hands lowering to his waist. He pulled away from the kiss catching a flicker of green. “This is what you want, Dean? This makes you happy?”

“Yes Cass.” Dean started to kiss the angels neck until his lips brushed his ear. “I need this. I need you. We’re connected, remember?”

That made Castiel smile. “Yes Dean I remember.”

Suddenly he heard the lock on the door click and it swung open. (whooshing)

“Dean?” Sam walked in to see his brother leaning against the counter, his face flushed and then he saw the Busty Asian Beauties…“Awe dude come on. Put that away. Go take a cold shower or something.”

Dean took in a deep breath and collected himself then turned to his brother. “Yeah um sorry I was distracted something happened.”

“Ok so what did I miss?”

“Miss? What?”

“You just said something happened.

“You know Sammy the angels.” Dean shrugged his shoulders. “They have no boundaries.”

“Uh yeah. I could see that. All of this. It’s messing with my head. I mean angels, lucifer...I still haven't processed it but, I did rent a movie.”

Dean looked up at his little brother, “A movie Sam? Seriously? You think now is a good time to eat popcorn and watch a freakin movie?”

Sam laughed, “I knew you would say that.” He pulled out the dvd, “That’s why I went with this.”

Dean grabbed the movie and his face lit up with excitement, “Tombstone. Yes!”

“Yeah, I’d know you like western soI figured I’d bite the bullet.”

Dean laughed and walked over to the TV turning it on and putting in the movie, “This is a classic Sam. Enjoy it.”


	3. intoxicated

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean gets drunk and Castiel is the one to find him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the timeline is all over the place and so are exact details but I don't really care. It's more to keep the SPN in the show but the main plot is focused on Cass & Dean. Both songs mentioned are at the beginning of the page.
> 
> Comments & Kudos appreciated. Being a new writer in this fandom is a bit intimidating especially coming from Shameless. I hope you enjoy!

He couldn’t stop thinking about Castiel. The Angel was a powerful tool of Heaven yet, with just a few choice words he managed to break him down. It was intoxicating but he needed to be careful. It was just a one-time thing. Surely the Cass would brush it off as a lapse in judgment. There was no way he could actually have an Angel of the lord wrapped around his finger. It just wasn’t possible. Still, he had that night. Cass may forget it but he won’t.

To be honest as far as angels go Cass wasn’t half bad, nothing like that Uriel asshole. Cass seemed to genuinely care about humanity or at least try to. 

“Dean.”

Sam's voice pulled him from his thoughts. 

“So do you think it’s a case?”

“Hmm, what?” He took a bite of his sandwich, “Where are we going?”

Sam sighed, “Really Dean? Are you ok? This is a ghost at a women’s gym. I thought you’d be all over this.”

Yeah, he would be and he is. “That’s all you needed to say Sammy lets get this show on the road.”

**

After food poisoning, getting beaten up by a 10-year-old and trying to talk down a bipolar teddy bear Dean was over this case. One woman, that’s it. Everything else was just wishing well hoodoo. He was ready to hit the bar and call it a night.

He dropped Sam off at the Red Raven motel then headed out. He stopped at the first dive bar he found and made his way inside. Immediately he noticed the bartender. Skinny brunette, his favorite type. To top it off she had blue eyes that screamed fuck me. “I’ll take a whiskey double on the rocks.” He winked at the woman.

“Sure thing sugar.”

The woman bent down to grab a glass and he couldn’t help but study the roundness of her ass. It was nice, firm, and taught. Perfect for spanking.

“Here you go. Double on the rocks. My name’s Tammy. You a cop?” 

He laughed and wrapped his hand around the glass slowly bringing it to his lips. “Why yes I am sweetheart, and it’s been one of those days.” Tammy laughed and batted her eyes, it was too easy. He didn’t have to even try really. He didn’t want it easy but it was convenient.

“Well, my shifts over in about an hour minutes. You could tell me all about it. Maybe I could make it better.”

He smiled and slammed the rest of his drink. “I bet you could. Get me another would you?”

Tammy brought the bottle over and poured him another 2 fingers.

“Might want to slow down there. My apartments a few blocks away. Wouldn’t want you to pass out on me.”

“Not a chance. Don’t worry about that. Keep 'em coming.”

Three drinks later and he was toasted. The doubles are what got him. He could see Tammy talking at the end of the bar and flagged her down. “Impala, out back.” The bartender nodded then returned back to her customers. He dropped a tip on the bartop then made his way outside to his car. He opened the door then sat down. He needed to sober up because Tammy looked bendy and that meant a long night of twister with their naked bodies. 

He reached for his keys turning on the car and blasted Bob Seager. “Night moves,” he hummed drunkenly.

“Hello, Dean.”

He nearly jumped through the roof of the car. “Son of a bitch man!” He took a deep breath and turned the volume down. “Don’t do that.”

Castiel immediately noticed Dean was intoxicated. Quite. “What are you doing out here Dean? Can you drive?”

Dean looked over at the angel and smiled, “I’m jamming out Cass. it’s what people do to have fun.”

“Sitting alone in a car is fun? That’s a strange example of the word.”

“No Cass.” Dean laughed. This guy was freakin adorable. “Music, that’s fun. Listen.” He turned up the volume as Turn The Page came on. “You can feel his emotions, his pain. It’s…”

“Intense.”

Dean cracked a smile, “That’s right. You’re learning.”

Cass couldn’t help the warm feeling brimming inside him when he saw Dean smile. It was nice seeing the young man happy. He hadn’t been able to get that night out of his head but he was not about to bring it up either. “Thank you, Dean.”

He sighed and looked at the back door, no Tammy yet. He turned and found his eyes meeting with Castiels. Blue eyes, long lashes, and brunette. Just his type. “Come on.” he sat up straight. “I got some more songs to show you, ride with me.”

Castiel nodded. He wasn’t on business now. He probably should be but no seals were being broken and his garrison wanted him to keep tabs on his charge. So why not.

**

He parked the impala on a path on the side of the road and opened the door. “Come on.”

Castiel followed Dean to the front of the car and stood beside him as the music filled the night. Dean had been showing him a band called Led Zeppelin. The music was controversial but it was beautiful in the same breath. Another joy mankind created. How could anyone not love these beings? He looked over at Dean who was staring into the night, his lips lightly humming the tune coming from the car. “Dean?”

“Hm?” He looked over at the angel. “What?”

Castiel tilted his head studying the lyrics. “This song. It confuses me. Does this woman truly believe she can buy her way to Heaven with gold? And what stairway are they speaking of? can assure you Dean there is no stairway to Heaven.”

Dean felt the smile crack his face so wide, “Come here.” He reached out and grabbed Castiel pulling him close. “Anyone ever tell you you’re adorable, cause uh... You are.”

His cheeks got hot, another reaction from his vessel. He was unsure of what was happening but Dean's green eyes were fixed with his and unlike times before they were laced with happiness. “N..No. I’ve never been told that before. Thank you, Dean.”

“Cass...don’t thank me, just..” He leaned forward and pressed their lips together. He waited for the kiss to be reciprocated but the angel just stood there frozen. That annoyed him. “Come on Cass. Don’t play hard to get.” He reached out and ran his hand through black hair before gripping it tightly.

“Dean, that's very uncomf..” Lips were once again against his only this time the kiss was rough and demanding the same as the grip on his hair. He brought his arms up to push Dean away then quickly changed his mind. Dean was drunk. He didn’t know what he was doing. He wouldn’t remember this so why not make him happy. He slowly opened his mouth and accepted the kiss. Within seconds Dean's mouth was on his neck and hands were sliding underneath his trench coat. “Dean, I don’t think this is a good idea.” He pulled away as much as he could from the intoxicated man. “I think you need some rest. We can forget this and you will feel better tomorrow.”

Dean scoffed and rolled his eyes, “What the hell is wrong with you Cass? I thought you wanted to make me happy, here I am trying to share a moment with you and you just want to forget it happened?”

Cass lowered his gaze then slowly met with Deans, “I...I don’t know what to do. I don’t want to make you upset. I want….I want you happy Dean. I want you prepared.” He looked off to the side. “I don’t know how to give you….this.” No sooner did the words leave his mouth, hands were on him and pressing him against the hood of the car.

“It’s easy Cass. Just shut up and let me lead.”

His eyes widened as he scanned Dean’s face. Lead? He was a leader, if anything Dean should follow but he didn’t know how to do what Dean wanted. Maybe he should fly away. He should but then how would he be able to face his charge the next time he was needed. He would be lying if he said he didn’t gain some pleasure in the feel of Dean against him. A feeling that was new to him along with so many others. “Ok Dean. I will let you lead.”

Dean smiled then reached up and touched the angel's face, then gently this time brought their lips together in a kiss. Unlike before soft lips parted and welcomed him in. He ran his hands down Castiel's shirt undoing one button at a time until it was barely hanging on. “You’re one sexy son of a bitch, Cass. Mm.”

His heart was racing, his hands were sweaty and his mind was foggy. How was he so lost in this moment? He was an angel, he should have control but with Dean touching his skin and his lips whispering compliments into his ear he felt like putty. Dean could ask him for anything right now and he would do it.

“Cass?”

He looked up at Dean who was now standing up. “Yes? Is everything ok? I tried to let you lead as you requested. I’m..”

“No Cass you did great.” He reached out and pulled the angel's shirt together. “Just uh…” he cleared his throat. Being out in the cold air was sobering him up. That and the half-naked angel in front of him. “I should get back. Sammy’s probably worried about me. I uh...I left my phone back at the motel.”

Cass looked at Dean then started to button his shirt. “Ok. I’ll come with you.”

“Actually…” Dean walked over to the car door. “I think I’m gonna hit the sack when I get back so..”

So? So what? “That’s ok Dean. I don’t sleep.” He turned and grabbed the passenger's door handle. “I’ll watch over you.”

“Yeah that’s not gonna happen.” he wrapped a knuckle against the hood of the car. “I’m gonna get out of here Cass. You know where I am if you need me.”

Again he was frozen as the young man shut the door and drove off into the night. He wouldn’t say it aloud, he didn’t want to admit it himself but he needed Dean now. He was filled with doubt and confusion but he was the servant of God. He shouldn’t be distracted by such things but he was having a hard time staying focused. Dean was becoming a distraction. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am new to this fandom. I'm looking for a beta. Preferably someone who is also into Gallavich so they can see my writing style. Drop a comment if you want to talk further. Kudos are appreciated!


	4. Good little Soldier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Winchesters rescue Anna. She and Dean share a moment but Dean's mind is elsewhere. Blue eyes, thin body, and brunette hair. That's who he was kissing, that's who he was fucking. Or at least he would be soon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was debating posting a whole fic or doing a WIP. I think I'm gonna do the WIP to give myself a challenge.

“Do you think you grabbed enough bacon?” Sam teased his brother as he watched him load yet another serving of greasy meat onto his plate.

“First Sammy it’s complimentary and second shhh..” His head was pounding. 

“Late night?”

He nodded his head slowly, “From this hangover I’m thinkin it was epic.” He didn’t remember much, bits and pieces.

“Epic huh?” They sat down at a table and Dean shoved a fistful of bacon in his mouth.

“Skinny brunette,” he said chewing, whiskey shots, and Zeppelin. That's all I know.”

Sam smiled and pulled out his computer. “Yep, that sounds pretty epic to me. Well while you were out getting blackout drunk I was talking to Ruby and she said she’s been hearing whispers.”

“Ooh, great, demon whisperers cause that's reliable” He set his food down and took off his sunglasses, “Ugh bad idea,” he groaned before placing them back on. “ We don’t need her help, for all we know she could be sending us off on some wild goose chase while she does god knows what.”

“I figured you would say that so I took the liberty of investigating. Apparently, there is this girl named Anna Milton. She was admitted into the psych ward because of this...she claims she was hearing angels.”

“Angels?” Dean took in a deep breath, “Ok, sounds like a textbook schizophrenic.”

“Maybe but Ruby seemed pretty sure she was the real deal. Dean, if this girl can talk to angels what do you think the Demons would do to her?”

“Son of a bitch.”

**

So Anna could hear angels but she didn’t understand why. Lucky for her, he and Sam were experts on figuring random shit out. They ended up calling Pamela. He wasn’t sure if she would help them considering the last time she did something for them, Castiel burned her eyes out. But…. he did tell her to back off so was it really his fault? 

They took Anna to the safe room at Bobby’s. That’s where they met up with Pamela. She did some kind of hypnosis on Anna and just like that she remembered who she was.

She was an angel.

This wasn’t good. No wonder the demons wanted her so bad. Bobby’s was too obvious a hideout so they decided to go to one of his cabins. He had a few ratholes scattered here and there in case anything ever happened. That would be where they take Anna.

They settled in and he sat down trying to wrap his mind around what was going on. Freakin Angels. It’s like they went from never existing to front and center of every problem they were running into.

He grabbed a beer and popped the top before taking a long swig.

“Can I sit with you?” Annas's voice was soft and nervous. “I’m just a little overwhelmed.”

He turned and gave the girl a reassuring smile. “I believe it. Nothing like thinking you know who you are just for you to find out it was all a lie. It sucks.”

Anna reached out and gently touched his leg, “Do you know why I rebelled Dean? I was so tired of watching humans. Seeing them experience joy, laughter, even pain. I envied them.”

“Trust me. Being humans, not all it cracked up to be.”

She smiled, “Maybe but feeling something, even if it’s painful is better than feeling nothing at all. So I removed my grace, and I fell. My mom had been trying to get pregnant for years. She also called me her little angel.” Her voice started to break, “They deserved better.”

“Hey,” He touched Anna's shoulder. “ You can’t blame yourself for what happened. It’s a shitty situation but it’s not your fault. You can’t carry that weight on you trust me, it’s too much.”

“Thank you, Dean.”

The words rang through his ears and for a brief moment he thought of Castiel. The wind began to pick up and the ground started to shake. 

“They’re coming,” Anna sobbed grabbing at her head. “They’re here.”

“Come on backroom,” Sam grabbed the girl and pushed her at Ruby. “Go now!”

Within seconds the cabin door burst open and Castiel appeared. The confidence and sternness in his face when he walked in commanded the room. Following behind him was Uriel. He hated that guy.

“We’re here for Anna,” Castiel said firmly.

“Why?” Sam looked between the two angels. “Are you going to help her?”

“No,” Cass replied and narrowed his eyes. “She has to die.”

“Out of the way,” Uriel tried to pass but Dean stood his ground. “Whoa whoa hold on.” He looked directly at Castiel. “I know she’s been wiretapping your angel chats but that’s no reason to gank her.”

“Don't worry. I’ll kill her gently,” Uriel growled.

“Wow.” He fixed his gaze on Cass. “You’re some heartless son of a bitches you know that?”

Castiel studied Dean. He was still unsure of how he felt if he did feel about the man. He had his orders and that trumped anything else. “As a matter of fact, we are Dean. And?”

“And you're gonna kill an innocent girl” Sam snapped.

“She’s far from innocent.”

Sam looked at Dean then back at the angels, “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means she’s worse than this abomination you’ve been screwing. Now move.” Uriel charged at him but Dean intercepted. Now Castiel was walking for the door. “Cass wait, Cass.”

He touched Sam’s forehead, putting him into a deep sleep. He didn’t want to hurt the Winchesters. He reached for the door then a bright flash of white and he was on the other side of the country.

**

Dean ran into the room to see Anna with a bloody hand and a sigil on the wall. She didn’t explain only stated that it popped in her head. Whatever it was it worked and she was safe. “They're dead?” His heart was thumping in his chest. Uriel was an asshole, he could give to shakes about him but Cass. 

“No,” Anna stood up, “not dead just far away. They’ll be back.” She drew in a breath and looked him over. “I need some fresh air. Will you keep me company?”

“Of course.” He smiled and held open the door then the two of them exited the cabin. They walked to the back where the impala was parked and talked about how much Anna loved being human and how corrupt heaven was. It was weird to think of something that should be crystal clear and good was actually quite broken. He was staring at the stars when he felt a hand touch his cheek. He turned and Anna was staring at him with bright wide eyes.

“So, this is my last night on earth and all that.”

Dean pulled away and laughed, “You’re stealing my best line.” Anna smiled then lunged forward capturing his lips in a kiss. It was hungry and desperate like the last touch she would ever feel because it was. They made their way to the backseat of the Impala and he made sure her last night had fireworks.

**

He wasn’t planning on turning Anna in. They shared an intimate moment but he knew the angels would be back. He knew they would leverage him and that meant Sam. They would’ve tossed him back if they could by now, but Sam was nothing to them.

The door flew open and he sighed sadly as all eyes were on him.

“Dean, what have you done?” Sam looked at him accusingly.

“It’s ok. He had to do it. It was me,” Anna turned to Sam, “or you.” She looked back at Dean then leaned up at closed the distance between them.

Castiel didn’t know why his gaze had dropped to the floor, or if he’d be able to bring it back. Seeing Anna kiss Dean so...easily. It was confusing. Humans were confusing. He didn’t know what Dean wanted but judging by this uncomfortable moment it was not him. That’s how it should be. He was an angel, they don’t feel emotion. As Dean said. They were heartless.

So why did his empty heart hurt?

**

Dean noticed right away. He saw the angels' downcast when Anna kissed him and it turned him on. He brought his hand to Anna’s face drawing out the kiss. Seeing Castiel in full angel mode made him yearn to see him a desperate, needy mess. The kiss made the angel uncomfortable and that was a good step. He wanted more though. He wanted Castiel.

*

He waited until Sam was asleep then made his way outside. He merely thought of the angel and he appeared before so maybe...maybe if he prayed he would hear it. It was a long shot. “Uh...I don’t know how to do this really but Cass. We need to talk. It’s important. I uh..”

“Hello, Dean.” Castiel walked up to his charge. “I heard your prayer.”

“So that really works.” he laughed then scanned the angel's body. “What was that all about tonight Cass? I’ve never seen you like that.”

Castiel narrowed his eyes trying to think of what Dean was referring to. “Dean. I had my orders. It ended up a lost cause, however, because Anna took back her grace and fled.”

He licked his lips, “I’m team Anna on that one but that’s not what I meant. WIth you Cass. You seemed so high and mighty then within seconds those pearly blues were staring down the floorboards. Did something upset you maybe?”

Castiel's eyes darted back and forth trying to replay the events but nothing stood out. “I’m sorry Dean. I don’t understand what you’re saying.”

“Sure you don’t Cass.” He walked up to Castiel until they were face to face, “You looked away,” he leaned in his lips touching the angels. “When she kissed me.”

No. It was happening again. He thought he’d be past this. He was an angel, he shouldn’t feel this. He shouldn’t feel at all and he only did when it came to Dean. “I don’t know what you thought you saw Dean but I can assure you, It’s not of import,” he said sternly, trying to keep himself collected. “The only thing that matters is that there is a rogue angel on the loose and I have to find her.”

“Oh, ok.” Dean stepped back and leaned against his car. “I forgot. You're supposed to be heartless right? So... I guess that means you don’t care that I fucked her right here.” He elbowed the passenger door. “It was good too. The way she said my name,” he clicked his tongue, “It was heavenly.”

His eyes were on the ground once more. He should fly away but it was like his legs were cemented to the ground. “Dean,” he said softly. “Please.” He wanted to leave, he needed to leave. “I have to go.”

Dean stalked over to the angel caging him against the fence, “Damn it, Cass,” 

Dean slammed his hand down next to his face causing him to look up abruptly. Not in fear but in shock. The minute he did lips were on his and Dean's hand was in his hair. “Dean,” his voice was so small. Nothing authoritative about it.

“I want you, Cass.” Dean pulled back and licked his lips tilting his head. “And I know you want me.”

Did he? What if he left again? The last time he left him and he was a mess. His head was spinning and he had no clue how to handle it. Would he do it again? “I’m sorry Dean.” He cleared his throat then fixed his gaze with green eyes trying his best to be firm. “I can't do this again. You should probably..” before he could finish Dean's lips were on his again and it was hard and rough. Dean's hands were under his jacket once again unbuttoning his shirt. The next thing he knew Dean’s hand was moving circles over his pants.” Huh,” he gasped before his cheeks flushed red. His vessel was reacting and he could feel every bit.

“You like that don’t you Cass?” Dean pulled back just enough to see the confused and wanting expression on the angel's face. “I like it too. I like it a lot. “Come on.” He reached for Cass’s hand and placed it over the bulge in his jeans. “It’s not rocket science Cass. Just do what I do.”

He moved his hand ever so slightly feeling Dean's...now he was frozen. Again but In every sense of the word. He felt like his head was about to explode he was so lost, so torn, so…..gone.

“Come on Cass,” Dean snapped then squeezed the angel's dick through his pants.

“Ahh,” he cried coming back from the haze in his mind. “I.. I don't. I..”

“Stop being stupid and just listen! Can you do that?” Dean glared at the Angel. “Or am I just wasting my time with you again?”

The words came automatically, effortlessly. “I’m sorry Dean.”

“Don’t be sorry just do what I say.”

“Yes, Dean. I will try..”

“No,” Dean pulled back, “ What is wrong with you?”Cass now had wide eyes and a look of….confusion. “There’s no trying alright, Cass.” He sighed then turned to lean next to the angel against the car. “You said it yourself you’re a soldier. You are built to follow orders. So follow mine or..”

“Or what?’ Castiel asked from sheer curiosity.

“I’ll kick your ass.”

“But,” he tilted his head, “I’m an angel. You can’t hurt me, Dean.”

Dean licked his lips, “No wonder you’re dad left for a pack of smokes and never came back. It’s better than dealing with a bunch of dickless, spineless angels.” He fixed his gaze. “You can’t do anything right can you? You rescue me from hell, tell me that God chose me yet you can’t even follow a simple order.”

“Dean…”

“No.” he put his hands up. “I’m just a human right and you’re an angel. You’re better than all of us. For Christ's sake, you almost nuked a whole town. Just when I start to believe there could be more to you… you just…” He backed up. “An order and order right?”

That made sense in a weird way. He was built to follow orders and Dean was resurrected by Heaven. Why should he not follow his instructions? It didn’t affect the mission. “Yes, Dean.” He turned and locked eyes with his charge. “What would you have me do?”

That was more like it. “ Kiss me, Cass. Show me that you need me as much as I need you.”

He nodded then leaned down pressing his lips timidly over Deans. “Like this,” he whispered.

“More.”

He swallowed thickly and tried to clear his mind. Now his tongue was in Dean's mouth and the man's hands were on his waist. Dean was making small humming sounds that made his pulse speed up. He was starting to get into it when he felt Dean's hand over his pants again. He went to pull back but Dean held his waist firm. He could fling this man across the grass if he wanted to but something about Dean made him less angel and more human. He kissed the young man and very slowly brought his hand down against Dean’s dick.

“That’s perfect Cass,” he sighed then started to move his hand quicker. Cass followed his lead and now they were both letting out small gasps and moans. “Cass?”

He pulled back and searched Dean's face. Was he going to leave again? “Yes?”

“I want you to touch it.”

“Touch it?”

“Yeah, Cass. Touch it. Wanna feel your hands on me.”

He nodded and moved his hand to the belt on Dean’s jeans and slowly began to undo it. “Dean, this is. I’ve never..”

“I know Cass. It’s ok. What did I say earlier? Tell me?”

“Follow your lead and do what you say.”

“You’re learning so fast Cass. I’m impressed.”

He smiled then without being prompted leaned forward and kissed Dean softly. Soon Dean's hands were running through his hair and his hand was sliding under Dean's boxer until he felt it. He froze concrete once again.

“Cass?”

He lowered his eyes. He didn’t know if he should do this? Any of this. What was happening? “Wait, Dean.. I..”

Dean rolled his eyes then pushed the Angel away roughly. “Just go. Get away from me.”

“What? Why?”

“I said fuck off Cass. We’re done.”

No this was not happening. He could be good, he could do what Dean wanted. Maybe. This was all so new to him and it was taking every ounce of strength to even venture this far. Something about Dean had him. He knew this would be the beginning of his downfall. “Wait, Dean. I’m sorry.” He rushed up to his charge and kissed his jaw. “I’ll do it.” kiss “Just tell me how.”

“Alright alright,” Dean smiled briefly then squared his jaw. He liked when the angel begged when he was needy. “ I was just gonna have you touch it but now I don’t know if I want you to.”

Cass cocked his head like a dog pondering its master words. “I thought that was what you wanted Dean. I'm confused.”

Dean reached down and undid his jeans, “Kneel for me, Cass.”

“Why?”

“Stop,” he smacked the car door, “Stop asking questions and just do it already or you’re gonna piss me off.”

He lowered his gaze then slowly found himself sinking to the ground. There was grass beneath him so it didn’t hurt too bad. He looked up at Dean, “Dean?” his eyes darted away then met with green ones again. “What do you want me to do?”

Dean reached down and grabbed Castiel's hand then placed it on his boxers. “I want you to take it out. I want you to kiss it.”

What? No, that was too much. But if he stopped Dean would yell at him and say cruel things. It shouldn't matter what this human thought but somehow it really, really did. “I don’t..” he stammered. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“For fuck sake,” Dean reached into his pants and pulled out his cock wet with precum. “This is my cock. TOUCH IT.” he said slowly as if speaking to a child.

Cass lifted a shaky hand and wrapped his fingers around Deans…..cock.

“That’s really good Cass, now move your hand back and forth, like this.” He motioned and Cass followed. “Mm fuck Angel. That feels amazing. You’re doing so good.”

His face broke into a smile, “Thank you, Dean.” He loved when Dean told him nice things.

“Now kiss it.”

Castiel swallowed thickly but did not move.

“Don’t make me say it again Cass. I thought we were passed you doubting me.”

“I’m not...I don’t. I’m sorry Dean.” he leaned forward and gently kissed the tip of Dean's dick.

“Open your mouth.”

He opened his mouth then Dean's hands were on his head pushing his dick further into his mouth.

“Damn that feels really good. Uh…” he loosened his grip and was happy when the angel stayed in place. Now he ran his fingers through his hair gently like he was petting a dog, giving Castiel enough praise to last a lifetime. “I’m glad it was you, Cass. You..you were meant to find me only you could,” he felt his balls tighten and knew he was about to cum. “Only you could do this to me. I never wanted anything like I was you, Cass.” Blue eyes met with him and he swore he could see them sparkle. “You’re perfect. Now what comes up you swallow alright?” The angel nodded yes around his dick. “Fuck mm here it comes.” He came hot streams into the angel's mouth and like a good little soldier, Cass swallowed every drop. When it was done he reached down and ushered the angel to stand up. He wouldn’t look him in the eye. “Hey,” He grabbed Castiel's face and turned it so they were staring at each other. “That was freakin awesome,” he leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss into the angel's lips. “Would you be my angel Cass?”

He smiled back then leaned in for another kiss. “Yes, Dean. I would like that.”

**Author's Note:**

> So this is my first time writing in this fandom. I know I have my work cut out for me because there are some brilliant writers out there. I write mostly Shameless fanfic but Supernatural has been and will always be my favorite show going on 15 years. I like bumpy rides and dark, depraved, degrading real-life situations, relatable. Triggering disturbing and any other dark word you can think of. That's my style. Call it a form of therapy because it is, I take a lot from my life and my experiences. You can call it wrong or evil but honestly, if you don't like don't read. But if you do, and you stay for the ride. It will be worth it.


End file.
